Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
