non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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