we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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