p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
