you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
