My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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