maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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