yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
