Its about making memories worth repressing
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
