well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
