'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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