she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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