I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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