she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
