She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize