saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
