Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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