ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
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