he shaved USA in his pubs
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
