i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
