I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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