There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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