He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
