I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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