Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
