was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
