I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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