he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize