Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize