I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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