handjob tips. give me some.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
