when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
