I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize