I want to stick my p in your. b.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
