So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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