I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
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I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
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The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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