How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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