Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
