She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
