listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
