Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
barbara walters just said penis...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize