He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
well you can't waste a boner
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
