dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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