whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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