i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
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Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
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We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
third nipple confirmed
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.