Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
