His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.