Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.