and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
