hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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