that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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