Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
