so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
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Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
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She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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