So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
