why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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