Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
