You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize