I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
