They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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