Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I would ride that face into the sunset
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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