I puked a lego.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
