I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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